It will never stop. Just when you thought everything is great, it hits you again, and you wander just when it gonna end. Tirelessly, you pick yourself up another day, for one more spot in the battleground, where everything you aimed for is in front of you, but nonetheless, your desire holds you back, you struggle to let loose for you to groove yourself onto the way of success, sometimes you win, but most of the time, youre ashamed to succumb to a defeat, but another dawn breaks, another sun awake, this time you feel you're much more confident than you were before. All the past experience dancing rapidly on your mind as you walk again into the ring, the bell rang, and you fall after a heavy blow onto te left of your jaw, this is the hardest blow and you lay down there for a minute or so, memory keeps racing back and forth, the jannah you adore and the hellfire you swore, never will you able to hold me down, I'm gonna get up and fight like asadullah, fear no one but Allah, the enemy within startin to rattle, scared of your renewed faith and the process of learnin you endure, it is time that desire will loose, and Allah's words honoured. I will not loose again, not ever, for even if I shall fall, I shall get back up stronger than ever, no enemy can hurt me, no desire can hold me, for I aim, to be the slave of His, and to be together with His Loved ones, ar Rasul peace be upon him and his companion and his family, to enjoy seeing Muhammad my beloved smiles at me and hug me and say, come Ive been missing you oh dear (put your name here). This is my vow, that I will never bow down, to the desire and the world and whatever it may come, for theres no God but one, worthy to be praised and worshipped. Lord, I rely on You only, to give me strength to go through this life that is full of trials and tribulance, and make me one of those whom You are pleased with. Amin. Lord, know that I will never ever stop trying to be loved by You, because, what will I be, if I dont have Your love and mercy o Allah. and Allah... theres no meaning to my existence o Allah even if You were to grant me forever in jannah, if I can never see Your face, ever. theres just no meanin to that, to live forever without being able to see You.
Allahumma solli 'ala muhammad wa'ala ali muhammad.